Article complet: [Off Topic] Visite du Refuge
05.03.09
[Off Topic] Visite du Refuge
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Visite du Refuge
Ou trekking macabre des cavistes, ou encore randonnée merveilleuse des Beautifuls, ou enfin rampade soliloquante des Débris…
Préambule : Eh ben, ça commence bien, j’avais écrit une demi-page de texte quand Word a planté… Je réouvre le truc, reste juste le titre… M’apprendra à sauvegarder tiens… En plus mainteneant, j'vais faire tout le temps des "ctrl-s"...
Entrée en matières
C’est donc en cette verdoyante contrée d’Onternut que nous nous retrouvons, au pied des pentes du mont lmamebug.
En effet, un étrange phénomène sismographique (ou sismologique, faudra regarder dans l’dico) a été récemment constaté par les scientifiques dans cette partie reculée de la planète, et un nouvel élément de relief compte désormais dans le paysage rural de ces ex-plaines que le dépeuplement ravage.
Le nom lmamebug vous étonnera peut-être (nan, pas vous qui habitez le refuge et qui lisez ça en ce moment, quoi que… Mais c’est surtout les lecteurs du monde entier, qui, lorsqu’ils découvriront cet ouvrage magnifique et tellement bien écrit, seront certainement étonnés par ce nom, qui semble bien étrange, quelle que soit la version de cet ouvrage, déjà traduit en 950 langues…).
En effet, sa constitution (du nom du mont) fut assurée par les gazettes locales des villages avoisinants, sa source étant la transcription onomatopéique (faudra re-regarder dans l’dico, celle là) du bruit provoqué par cet événement sismique (ou séismatique, faudra re-re-regarder dans l’dico (à moins que le « vieux truite » (nous découvrirons cet illustre personnage plus tard dans les douces pages de vélins de ce fabuleux volume de culture réfugienne) ne puisse nous faire part (de mariage mwahaha !) du mot convenable qu’il convient donc d’utiliser, dans le but d’employer un langage choisi (sauf s’il est cuité (ou en crise de perte de mémoire (ou d’acidité gastrique…
Attends deux secondes là… T’as ouvert combien de parenthèses ? Bah heu… chais pas trop… Bon, bah, j’vais leur en mett’ une dizaine, comme ça on s’ra sûr que ce s’ra fermé et que personne pourra venir cambrioler ce qu’il y a dedans…
)))))))))) (cherchez pô vous, vous comprendriez pas… sauf si vous avez lu les trucs en italique que vous avez pas le droit de lire)
La consitution de ce terme étrange qu’est lmamebug fut générée par le bruit que fit l’événement sismo… (laisse tomber, on verra à la relecture) . Les textes relevés dans les gazettes locales côté Nord ont tout d’abord fait état d’un grand LMAAAAAMMMM !!!
Mais ce fut sans compter sur les journalistes (oui, enfin bon, à ce niveau, on dit plutôt pigistes) côté Sud, qui eux ont relaté (pas comme le vieux whisky, qui lui, peut être frelaté) un bruit du style : BUUUUUUGGGGGG !!!!
Les deux contrées ainsi créées par cette nouvelle fontière naturelle s’entendant néanmoins merveilleusement bien, ont consensuellement décidé de dénommer cet élément du relief "mont lmamebug".
Vaaalà !! Ai fait l’explication du bouzin, on va p’têt pouvoir commencer la grimpette non ?
On commence à marcher ?
Nous voici donc à pied d’œuvre, c’est le cas de le dire… Notre petite équipe de choc est parée pour l’expédition, nous avons le matos de varappe, de spéléo, de rafting, de canyonning et de plomberie/zinguerie, on sait jamais (la dernière fois, les habitants du lieu de mon reportage avaient pété les tuyaux des tunnels dans lesquels ils vivaient… C’était au Texas, dans un petit village que jamais je ne trouva…).
La suite donc:
Avant de se mettre à marcher (sisi, je vous jure, à un moment, on va s’y mettre), je tiens à vous présenter un peu les marcheurs : Ils sont peu nombreux, étant donné que le but est de trouver les membres du refuge dans leur environnement réel et naturel. Donc ben en fait, y a que moi et Wordie (ouais, bon, ben j’ai pas le droit de donner des petits noms à mon traitement de texte ? Quoi ? C’est ridicule ? T’entends ça Wordie ? ils disent que t’es ridicule ? Attaque !!).
Wordie est un être relativement solitaire et taciturne. Il est de composition plutôt sympathique, quoique parfois un peu instable, ayant parfois tendance à oublier tout ce que vous avez dit pendant la dernière heure et de mie (de pain) (même pas fait exprès celle là, j’avais juste mis un espace de trop… Nan, j’déconne, tout est calculé), ce qui vous oblige à tout répéter, même si vous vous souvenez plus de quoi que vous avez dit. Fort heureusement, sur la personne auguste et joviale de Wordie, se trouvent deux petits boutons : « CTRL » (Centre de Traitement des Rôts Lombriquesques) et « S » (Sensualité Sigmoïde Sinueuse et Sale… Hein ? Y avait qu’un S, ah oui, me suis emballé), qui si on les presse dans le même temps opère une contraction voire un spasme dans tout le corps carré (si si) de Wordie, qui, d’un coup, ne peux plus oublier ce qui lui a été dit, tel le mâle ne pouvant plus contenir la manifestation physique du remplissement sanguin d’un espace dit caverneux de sa personne, après l’absorption d’un petit bonbon bleu en forme de losange.
Voici Wordie présenté (et le premier qui se permet de se re-moquer de ce nom hérite, sans frais de succession, de la demi livre de cartilage que je cherche à léguer en usufruit depuis un certain temps déjà), je vais donc m’introduire moi même (traduisez, me présenter et non me carrer un doigt dans le pros… Mais je m’égare) : Je suis l’éminent docteur Avalanche.
Je suis issu d’une longue famille de randonneurs conteurs numismates, féru de découvertes de nouvelles peuplades, et aussi, j’aime bien me travestir le samedi soir en nonne perverse. Je suis d’un caractère quelque peu soupe au lait, je me couche avec les poules et ne suis pas un grand travailleur. Par contre, mon élocution écrite est particulièrement fine, mes calembours toujours parfaitement ajustés (comme vous l’aurez, bien sûr remarqué) et mon style relativement inimitable, c’est pouquoi l’INPI ne m’aime pas particulièrement (mais qu’est-ce que je dis moi ?)
Les présentations présentées, on va peut-être pouvoir se mettre à marcher me direz-vous avec fort raison par ailleurs !! Nous le pouvons. Cependant, mais laissez moi vous présenter le contenu de mon sac à dos.
Tu l’as déjà fait un peu plus haut gros naze !
(N.D.L.E.C.Q.C.A.S.F.C.A.L.T.C.P.D.M) (Note du Lecteur En Colère Qui Commence A S’Faire Chier A Lire Tous Ces Préambules De Merde) (N.D.T.Q.L.C.A.E.E.A.P.L.D.D.M.U.M.A.D.D.C.M) (Note Du Traducteur Qui, Lui Aussi, Commence A en Avoir Plein Le Dos De Mettre Une Majuscule Au Début De Chaque Putain De Mot)
Tu l’as donc déjà fait gros naze disaient mes illustres lecteurs fort à propos.
Oups, pardon, je voulais faire durer le suspense en utilisant des procédés de style hautement littéraires… Mais je sens votre impatience, aussi vais-je commence la description de la montagne (pououourtant, que la montaaagne est beeelleuuuu !! Oui, je chante aussi)
Chapitre I :
Ou Randonnée ascendante ou lente progression vers le refuge, ou encore tourisme montagnard champestre forestier fluvial et maritime, où l’on s’apercevra que la marmotte ne fait pas que mettre le chocolat dans le papier d’alu, mais qu’il lui arrive également de sodomiser des truites de montagne d’un air absent.
Marchons donc, cher lecteur et trice !! Posons nos pieds dans la douce et verte herbe qui tapisse les flancs du mont Imamebug de sa verdoyante verdure, évoquant sans équivoque le tapis tendu sur une plaque d’ardoise de la table de snooker n°4 de chez Dédé où Raymonde Pétolat vient de poser son gros dargeot avant de lourder une caisse et de déclamer à haute et intelligible voix que « bordel, è s’tapperereait bien-t’il une roteuse sans faux col, Marcel !
De ci de là, la végétation de cette sublime montagne exprime tout son art par de pétulantes touffes de fleurs printanières plus encore soulignées par de petits ruisseaux verdeterrisant (parce que les serpents ça fait peur… Celui qu’a compris, je lui tire mon chapeau) qui chantonnent leur Ode d’onde… La végétation ne laisse affleurer qu’à de rares occasions de subtils éléments rocheux n’étant pas sans laisser à penser à l’observateur attentif que ce monde, si verdoyant qu’il soit, présente aussi un aspect matériel, minéral, dur et impitoyable…
Enfin, pour parfaire le tableau et lui donner un peu de mouvement n’omettons pas de mentionner la faune qui se déplace avec la futile gaieté de l’innocence au sein de ce merveilleux décor…
Des papillons, des coccinelles volettent en tous sens, des sauterelles stridulent doucement dans les herbes hautes, de gentilles grenouilles vertes et bleues sautillent au bord des petits ruisseaux, des truites sautent à contre courant exprimant ainsi leur joie reproductrice d’aller poser leurs œufs tout en haut du cours d’eau ; de gentilles marmottes qui s’approchent du torrent pour étancher leur soif, qui saisissent une truite afin de l’aider à mieux remonter le courant, qui la tournent dos à elles, et qui les… Hein ? Qui les sodomisent d’un air absent ? Mais quelle est donc cette race de marmotte ?
- Hé gros naze !! C’est moi ! C’est Alphonse, la marmotte qui défonce !! Y m’ont viré du papier d’alu, alors je me suis dit que vu que j’étais au chômage et en fin de droits en plus, y fallait bien que je trouve une occupation, nan ? Donc je nique les truites, c’est interdit ? En plus è z’adorent ça !
- Tout à fait mon brave ! (je ne le connais pas savez-vous ?!), continuez donc vos joyeuses et primesautières occupations, nous allons très (très) vite nous diriger vers le chemin de randonnée qui verdeterrise à flanc de coteau !
- Ouais, bah t’as qu’a la sauter la prime (primesautier), moi j’en ai pas eu perso. Au fait, si tu vas, dans le sentier des vachasses, fais ‘achement gaffe où qu’c’est qu’tu mets les pieds, because y a Gérard, l’herisson qui broie du noir qu’est remonté au logis après la tournée des bars d’alpages. L’a gerbé tout du long ! Et mon gars, t’as pas envie d’avoir de la gerbe d’hérisson sous eu’l pied !!
- Merci infiniment de cette préoccupation qui fait honneur à vos qualités de guide touristique ! Nous ferons donc preuve d’une attention soutenue (CTRL S pour Wordie)
- Ouais, c’est ça, va chier, parigot !
- De même et encore merci !
Recentrons-nous. Devant nous, Un gentil chemin vicinal tortue (du verbe tortuer, parce que le tort tue)…
Nous emboîtons (pour les vicelards, j’utilise ici et pour une fois ce verbe à bon escient) donc le pas à toutes ces vaches qui nous ont visiblement (et odoriféramment) précédés depuis tant et tant d’année au cours de leur lente, mais sûre transhumance. Le chemin est dur, il grimpe sévèrement. Notre souffle se raccourcit donc et nous nous mettons à haleter comme les gros porcs suants et suintants que nous sommes, tant l’habitude de l’effort que nous avons pris au bureau sous la clim’ est grande. Bref nous montons.
Au cours des trois premières heures de notre lente ascension, nous ne remarquons rien de bien plus extraordinaire que susditement décrit, à savoir :
• Des sentiers qui sentent,
• Ds collines qui collinent,
• Des fleurs qui fleurent,
• Des moustiques qui m’hou !! c’te tique !! (oui, bon, nous n’avons pas d’autre explication !cf. Eric et Ramzy qui se reconnaitront et m’enverront des billets gratuits pour leurs spectacles sous deux jours…)
• Des marmottes qui niquent (mais ça, on le savait déjà)…
Bref, à part la sueur qui me coule dans les yeux et vient piquer mes mucoses (si si, ça existe), non par la salinité de l’urée contenue dans mes exsudations, mais plutôt dans le Ricard d’hier soir et me gêne ainsi, me faisant percevoir d’étranges images… Il me semble en effet apercevoir une transformation dans le paysage… J’ai l’impression d’entrevoir des angles moins naturels au sommet de la montagne, des formes plus géométriques (quoiqu’irrationnelles). D’un mouvement circulaire (CTRL S pour wordie. Au fait Wordie, ça va toujours ? Oh oui gros coquin, tape encore !! Ah oui, j’avais oublié de vous le dire, wordie est maso : il aime qu’on tape !) du poignet, vous avez vu comme je le fais bien, j’essuie donc cette poisseuse onde qui recouvre mon délicat front blanc et parfumé (enfin, avant que je sue, parce que quand je sue, je pue, et quand je pue, ma mère me rentre…) et porte à nouveau mon regard vers ces formes que je vois là-haut… En effet, je n’ai pas la berlue, je ne suis pas en train de perdre la raison, mais bien en train d’apercevoir des formes artificielles. La main de l’homme aurait-elle mis le pied dans le coin ?
Le vent soufflant vers ces formes altitudeuses nous empêche d’ouïr (j’ouis, tu ouis il ouit… L’oie ouit-elle Louis l’ouir jouir ? Moui !) quelque bruit que ce fut…
- « OH !!! T’AVANCE, OU T’ATTENDS QUE LA MAREE MONTE JUSQUE LA ? »
- Pardon ?
- Ouais, y en a qui bossent, putain d’bordel !
- Mais qui êtes-vous, vil maraud, faquin ?
- Mphhhh !! Nan mais vraiment, t’as d’la merde dans les yeux ? T’as pas bien r’gardé ?
Une personne/chose étrange nous fait face.
Ce n’est pas un animal, mais ce n’est certainement pas un humain non plus… On pourrait le décrire comme étant le mélange chaotique de la dégénérescence de Gollum croisé avec Nicolas Sarkozy et Venus Williams. Un peu du sperme de Demis Roussos serait venu se perde dans le tube que ça ne serait pas non plus trop étonnant…
Il s’agit d’un être d’environ 80 centimètres de haut, se tenant sur deux jambes grêles et difformes. Au dessus de ses pieds difformes et chaussés de patates, ses mollets poilus et triangulaires sont de la teinte verdâtre d’une courgette ayant passé trois semaines dans le tiroir du bas du frigo de madame Claude. Dotée de cuisses massives et massivement découvertes, élégamment habillées de croûtes purulentes (CTRL S pour W… TA GUEULE ET ECRIS !!!! Oh Bon, ça va, on est pas aux pièces !!) et suppuriférantes, l’étrange erreur de la nature qui se présente devant nous ne s’arrête pas à ses seules cuisses.
Le milieu et le haut du corps sont plus étranges encore… Les hanches déséquilibrées et bancales (pléonasme ! (NDRQADFHCCAFDVADFDS (Note Du Relecteur Qui A Déjà Fait Huit Crises Cardiaques A Force De Voir Autant De Fautes De Syntaxe)) sont épaisses, noueuses et odorantes, puisque contenant une aine (c’est une ? Ouais arrête, je vais gerber… Ben nan, ça devient à peine marrant… Ugghh ! Tiens, le jus d’orange de ce matin…) visiblement peu habitée d’appareil reproductifs et excrémentatoires, mais en tout cas, petits, mais costauds !! Il est indéniable que la place est occupée, depuis longtemps, et qu’elle n’a pas été aérée depuis bien des mois, voire des années (UUUGGGHHHHH !!!! Tiens ! La chocolatine de ce matin… )…
Un torse torse recouvert d’une épaisse toison rousse dans laquelle pendent des restes de petits déjeuner et d’autres repas plus substantiels visiblement, nourrissant une dense population d’insectes que l’on pourrait croire domestiques tant leur organisation pilliphage est structurée.
De musculature inexistante, ce torse se termine par des épaules étroites et hirsutes qui semblent n’être pas même capables de supporter le poids d’un cadavre à planquer, même petit. Ces épaules donnent naissance à deux (oui oui, deux) longs bras : les biceps fins comme des bouts de ficelle à rôti et les avants bras gros comme des rôtis… Alors la ficelle d’un côté, la barbaque de l’autre, le tout donnant une impression toute gorillesque, d’autant plus que les mains sont noires, couvertes d’écailles et terminées par d’épais ongles jaune pisseux sous lesquels se trouve une épaisse couche de matière fécale, la propriété numéro deux (on verra la un plus tard) de ces êtres étant de se gratter le c*l à longueur de journée en tirant des louises bien grasses afin d’améliorer le « tirage ».
La cerise sur le gâteau, s’il est possible de s’exprimer ainsi, mais on peut aussi bien dire le coup de fusil final, ou la bombe à bouse terminale, c’est l’appendice céphalique de la créature.
Il s’agit en effet d’une tête en triangle inversé : on pourrait aussi dire tête d’enclume, ou encore repose bière, bien que cette attribut serait plus appliqué à la population féminine de la catégorie (si si, il y en a, cf. la femme parfaite). Triangle inversé donc, se terminant logiquement par un menton en pointe, recouvert de poils drus et bicolores : jaune et vert en stries verticales ondulantes. Un sourire torve habite ce visage, faisant largement penser à toutes les chimères pouvant habiter le pauvre cerveau maigre et rachitique qui habite ce crâne en forme de joint de cannabis. Des yeux respirant la perversion, des oreilles en chou-fleur largement décollé. Wordie ? ouais, c’est sauvé ! Merki !
« Qu’est-ce t’as ? Tu veux ma photo ? »
Ah oui, le caractère maintenant… Que le lecteur nous pardonne cette longueur dans la description, mais il est vrai que nous avons besoin de décrire longuement ce personnage qui est pour beaucoup dans l’existence et le fonctionnement du refuge, que nous allons certainement bientôt découvrir (parce que visiblement si je fais durer le suspense plus longtemps, je risque d’en prendre plein la gueule heuuu, la figure !).
Donc si le lecteur n’est pas content, la rédaction lui suggère aimablement d’aller dans un salon spécialisé dans le but de se faire intromettre un substitut phallique dans l’orifice anal, n’oubliant surtout pas d’y adjoindre au préalable une large dose de silice et de minéraux divers afin d’améliorer la fluidité du mouvement et d’intensifier le ressenti orgasmique de cette manœuvre. Cela dit, la maison déclare décliner toute responsabilité en cas d’épisiotomie rectale.
Donc, le caractère de cet être naniforme… D’un naturel particulièrement acariâtre, il est naturellement haineux, pervers, obsédé sexuel, cela se traduisant par des frottements pubiens à toute chose ou personne pouvant rappeler, de près ou de loin un orifice (oui, certaines personnes peuvent rappeler un orifice : « espèce de trou du cul ! »).
De tendance poltronne et malveillante, il n’hésite pas à faire des tours pendables et à en accuser ses congénères voire ses maîtres, ce qui confirme son trait de caractère numéro un : la fourberie. Nul habitant du refuge n’a pu oublier ce facétieux tour qui fut joué à l’un de ses habitants récemment et dont la vallée et toute la campagne environnante, jusqu’à Ouagadougou se souviennent :
L’amusant petit personnage, soi-disant à la demande d’un des membres de la plus illustre des confréries de cet endroit d’altitude (mais nous en reparlerons plus tard), avait habilement déposé un filet de super glue III sur le rebord de la cuvette des toilettes.
Ce qui devait arriver arriva.
Une personne pressée entra dans ce lieu d’aisances, défit la partie postérieure de son costume, déposa son auguste mais néanmoins ravissant fessier sur le rebord, fit ce qu’il avait à faire, consulta au passage pour la quatre vingt quatorzième fois la brochure des horaires des trains partant de Katmandou et se rendant à Kuala-Lumpur (parce que peu importe ce que t’as à lire au gogues, tu le liras quand même), puis ayant terminé, tenta un rétablissement vertical qui se solda par une sourde douleur à l’endroit le plus méridional de sa personne, provoquant ainsi un étonnement et aussi une certaine forme de panique. S’en suivit (mais je vous passe les détails) un horrible hurlement et des manipulations logistiques épuisantes. Les techniciens chevronnés réussirent néanmoins à désolidariser la cuvette du bloc toilettes, ce qui évita à l’infortuné de se balader avec un bloc WC collé au derrière, mais seulement une lunette de toilettes en faux marbre… Bref, le coupable fut désigné (il avait laissé négligemment choir un demi kilo de poils pubiens en se frottant au trou de la serrure), mais nia toute forme de responsabilité, reportant la faute sur l’un de ses commanditaires, un membre illustre de la confrérie étrange des « Cavistes » (que nous décrirons plus amplement dans les lignes suivantes de ce récit), confrérie n’ayant qu’un rapport éloigné et de consommation massive avec l’œnologie et/ou la vinification.
- « Bon, quand t’auras fini de raconter tes conneries, tu pourras peut-être dégager le passage, tu vois pas que j’ai une affaire urgente entre les mains là ?
- Entre les mains ?
- Oui, bon, pas tout à fait, mais heu… Oh et puis le touriste là, y va pas faire ch…, y va se ranger, sinon, je lui fous une rouste, épais !!
- Pardon mon bon, mais justement, nous cherchions une âme charitable…
- C’est quoi charitable, passque si y a un truc a signer chais pas écrire…
- Nenni mon bon, nous aurions juste besoin d’un guide pour nous diriger vers cet endroit légendaire que personne encore n’a découvert et que l’on appelle le Refuge…
Ah ouais, je vois… Ben… Heuuu…
- 1000 Euros.
- J’aime pas les Euros…
- Qu’aimez-vous donc alors ?
- J’aime les Fererros !
- Qu’à cela ne tienne. 1000 Fererros.
La transformation est ici purement pétrifiante cher lecteur.
Enlève donc les bananes que tu as dans les oreilles, lâche cet exemplaire du canard enchaîné que tu es en train de lire et écoute.
Les yeux de la créature se plissent en amande, le sourire devient servile, une langue fourchue sort de sa bouche et pend mollement de la commissure droite de ses lèvres, répandant un filet de bave bleue dont les vapeurs ne sont pas sans rappeler celles de l’éther frelaté ; son dos se courbe, révélant ainsi une superbe bosse recouverte de furoncles que nous n’avions pas encore remarqués, et sa voix se fait plus obséquieuse…
« - Maître, pour 1000 fererros, je vous emmène jusqu’à la chocolaterie de Willy Wonka, je vous promène au pays des rêves bleus, je peux même vous faire une petite fell…
- Merci ! C’est bon !! Nous nous contenterons d’être guidés mon brave… Allez, et sans traîner…
- Bien maître.
La créature se retourne, laisse choir un considérable pet, ricane, se gratte l’oigne, et entonne : « Paaaaaar ici les touristes !!! Direction, Le Refuge ^_^ !!!! »
Le lecteur se demandera donc quelle est donc cet étrange animal dont nous venons de faire la rencontre ?
La réponse n’est pas un Hobbit dégénéré. Ce n’est pas non plus un elfe déliquescent, ni un gnome consanguin, ni même un nain atrophié, ou encore un pet personnifié…
Il s’agit d’un lutin.
Oui, cette variété de créature fut magique il y a bien longtemps et tirait ses origines des Korigans, élevé dans une contrée fort éloignée d’Onternut et du mont de lmamebug nommée Loufland…
Un soir au Loufland, deux Korigans, un mâle et une femelle sortirent d’un bar où ils avaient abusé de Mojito (sic) au mezcal et de schnaps de pastèque… Ils se roulèrent donc dans la boue qui subsistait de l’orage précédent. La fourrière des Loufcops les confondit avec des chiens errants (et oui, un Korigan bourré et vautré dans la boue ressemble à un chien errant). Ils les ramassèrent donc et les balancèrent dans un cours d’eau avoisinant qui, comme par hasard me direz-vous, aboutissait non loin des plaines d’Onternut, dans le comté de Blaatt, qui était l’ancêtre de la partie lmaaaamm du mont lmambug avant les évènements sismobiologistiques susditement explicités.
Ces Korigans alcoolos, isolés ne purent que tenter de reproduire l’espèce et, la consanguinité aidant (oui, ils ont bien essayé de se faire des lapins et des furets, mais ça fécondait pas bien…), une nouvelle espèce survint : le lutin.
Mais trêve de conjectures biomorphologiques et d’analyse d’arbre généalogique (bien que de nombreuses personnes prétendent que l’ancêtre des lutins, le mâle Korigan n’est autre que l’infâme Pâlm Spirith Premier célèbre pour son alcoolisme notoire et ses balbutiements injurieux à l’adresse des infirmiers du SAMU venus le relever de son éthylisme méridional (fan de Pastis)), passons aux choses sérieuses.
Bref donc, laissons prendre une certaine avance à notre guide afin de protéger nos narines délicates du relent pestilentiel qui émane de son entrejambe et de son fondement et suivons-le progressivement à travers plaines et vallées…
Prochain épisode, l’arrivée vers le Refuge !!!! Sponsorisée par les Cigare roule-toi-là ! les établissement K-Viste : fondations et terrassements de montagne.
Si vous êtes encore vivant (mais si mais si, je vois l'écume au bord de vos lèvres remuer encore un peu), vous pouvez remercier Supermat, l'auteur de cette charmante visite guidée sur le forum 
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Je suis explosé de rire !  Vivement la suite !!!  |
| Je vais essayer demain |
| Y a intérêt ! Sinon c'est fouet sur la fesse gauche  |
| Hmmmm... Grand fou! C'est pas comme ça que tu vas me mettre au boulot mon chou! |
| J'peux pas faire mieux, la décence m'interdit d'en dire plus  |
| Elle a pas de prénom? |
| Qui ? La décence ? |
| Bah oui! |
Josiane ?  |
| Josiane décence. OK, ça me va. |
| A bien y réfléchir, j'aurais du dire Jéricane ! |
| Oui, mais c'est la crise, tu n'as pas pu te le permettre. Toussa toussa. |
| Saloperie de crise toussa toussa ! |
Je précise que le fait qu'il écrive pour Lmame-BUG n'ait rien à voir avec les plantages ;petit avertissement / disclaimer sans frais Au fait... Histoire de faire peur aux autres  j'ai passé ce fabuleux post sur le blog du site eh eh (ici)... Ca risque de faire bizarre à certains dans leur flux RSS Excellent en tous cas, j'attends la suite  |
| J'y travaille les amis! |
Chouette !  Nous laisse pas poireauter trop longtemps hein ! |
| J'ai tout copié pour l'imprimer et le rire dans le RER... ça va être terrible je sens! |
| Garanti sur facture ! |
| Allez, je vous poste le reste très vite. |
 |
Fais le dans un autre thread comme ça je le mettrai aussi sur le blog ^_^ |
| T'es prêt? On va faire chauffer du RSS... |
| Je fonce zyeuter !!! |
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